Antifragility: Stronger Because of What Breaks Us

Antifragility isn’t about never breaking. It’s about becoming stronger, deeper, and more beautiful because of what broke you.

I recently learned a new word: antifragility.

It caught me instantly, because it wasn’t about toughness, or resilience, or grit—words I’ve carried for years.

Antifragility means something different.

It means becoming stronger because of what breaks you.

Not just surviving pressure, but actually being shaped by it into something better, wiser, fuller.

I’ve lived a lot of painful seasons that have tested me.

Growing up without a mother and an emotionally absent father.

An abusive teenage relationship I struggled to escape from.

My family disowning me because I chose not to go to college.

Codependency and unhealthy relationship dynamics.

The loss of a baby.

The landslide that buried my family’s century-old grocery store.

The truth about a man I believed finally meant safety, warmth, and enduring love.

Each of those seasons stripped something from me.

In many ways, they dismantled the life or identity I thought I had.

But as I look back, I see that what was dismantled also forged me into someone new.

Grief deepened my compassion.

Loss clarified what really matters.

Betrayal sharpened my vision and strengthened my relationship with myself.

Growing up without present, consistent parents forced me to raise myself—and in doing so, I became resourceful, self-aware, and determined.

These weren’t experiences I would ever choose. But they remade me in ways that being comfortable or “safe” never could.

That’s antifragility.

Not unbroken, but rebuilt.

Not unchanged, but transformed.

Not diminished, but expanded into divine possibility.

I share this because I think so many of us already live it without naming it.

If you’ve ever taken something that should have shattered you and used it as fuel, or turned pain into purpose, or chosen growth instead of despair—then you already embody antifragility.

So here’s my invitation:

The next time life shakes you, instead of asking only “How do I get back to where I was?”—consider the deeper question: “What might this make possible in me?”

You are likely more antifragile than you realize.

And don’t forget, you’ve always been extraordinary.