The Pull of Life

Standing at the edge of what has been, looking out toward what’s next.

September 13, 2025

I wrote this right before I walked out the door to attend a storytelling event that stirred a tidal wave of grief.

These are my days right now — excitement for the future alongside waves of grief and stress. Both are okay. Both are part of the process.

I am thankful to finally be feeling the pull of life.

'The Pull of Life'

For months, words poured out of me — metaphors, heartache, self-reclamation.

The death of my dad and the layered deceptions I uncovered in the relationship I was deeply invested in cracked something open inside me that had never been touched before.

I sat with myself for hours upon hours, processing, writing, naming truths.

There’s a saying that time heals all.

I don’t know if that’s true, but I do know this: healing has taken root inside of me. Transformation has reshaped me.

I don’t just feel it. I live it, daily.

Now, I can feel the pull of life again.

The spark and curiosity about possibility is tugging me forward —

to live, to love, to push myself to new limits.

To learn new things. To meet new people.

To step into this next chapter in ways I’ve never dared before.

While I was pouring my heart onto the page, I thought for sure it would become a book.

And maybe it still will.

But right now, my free spirit and wildfire heart are craving something else,

Movement.

Adventure.

Risk.

New places.

New people.

New experiences that challenge me to grow beyond who I have been.

The truth is, I don’t know exactly where to go.

I don’t yet know what I want to learn,

the next challenge I want to take on,

or even where to look for what’s calling me.

But I trust the universe to open the doors.

And I know enough about living my dreams to follow the sparks of my own curiosity.

After literal years of survival mode —

of recovery, healing, fear, and hope —

I am different.

Forged and fortified with resilience.

More courageous than ever before.

Whole.

No longer waiting to be chosen.

No longer waiting to be loved into safety.

I am ready to choose.

To experience life

To determine, for myself,

The best person, place, and peace for me.

Because the pull of life is here.

And even without a map, I’m saying yes.